My daughter has cancer. I have known for a few days now but it is not an easy thing to write about. She cries and says it is her fault because of choices she made and she has the hpv virus that so many young girls have today. It is mindboggling the numbers of young girls that are affected by this dreaded disease. One that I know of right now is 17 and has been told she only has about 6mos to live. Maybe a few months more than that.

I do not know what my daughters prognosis is at this time. I do not know how they will treat it as they are trying to figure that out now.

This damned disease is very hard to talk about. I keep thinking she is only 25 and it is not fair but I have to keep thinking she will be okay. I know of several who have had it and they have turned out okay and are either in treatment or it is cured. I keep thinking that she will be one of the lucky ones. I have to think that.

Sigh....It is a cold and windy night out but warm for november. I was expecting snow but was too warm for it. I guess it is the dampness that has been hanging around for about a month that is getting to me.

So much is happening right now. It is a busy time of the year. Should be a happy time but hectic is more like it for me. Am I the only one who thinks we put too much in store for these holidays? For thanksgiving, a big meal is a must it seems for all. We will be having 2 this year. Our thanksgiving then Mil will be 79 and we are planning a big surprise for her the Saturday after thanksgiving. I am more excited about that then I am turkey day. I have to make scalloped potatoes for 40 people. With all the grandkids and her sisters as well as kids, that is how many will be there. Wish me luck with it. I will need it.

Books

I love to read. I think I learned to love to read when I was a lonely little foster kid being shifted from one home to another. I never could get close to friends during those first few years in the system because I would always lose whatever friends I had made so Books became my best friends. I didn't care what the book was about sometimes. I would read whatever had words in it.

Sometimes I would curl up in a special place and lose myself in the book for hours. Most of the time it would be my room or a favorite chair but when I moved to my last foster home, it was the attic. I would stay there for hours and read.

I would lose myself in all the Trixie Beldon books, the Hary boys series, and the Bobsy Twins. Later it was nancy drew.

I loved Horses and BLACK BEAUTY by Anna Sewell was my all time favorite when I was growing up. I cried when Beauty got sold and Ginger died. It was so sad. I loved MY FRIEND FLICKA, THE GREEN GRASS OF WYOMING, and there was one about an arabian stallion that a young boy raised. Oh, I cannot forget the BLACK STALLION SERIES.

As I grew into a teen I learned to love all the romance stories. The comic romances and such. I had a dark period where I would root around for some real crime books and read murder stories but that did not last long.

While I was growing up, my childhood was basically a happy one for a child that was being shifted from one home to another. But I never felt I had family or roots in the real sense. I would curl up in the attic read about the girl with the beautiful horses that lived with a family that cared about her and dreamed I would find one like that too. I would often immerse myself in the world of the young boys such as the hardy boys and walk with them as she sovled each mystery and Nancy drew was my sidekick in many adventures.

I could lose myself and become a totally different special person. I loved books feel they kept me sane and happy at times. They still do....

When it's peach picking time in Georgia....this is a very old country song that was going thru my head recently but it was....when it's apple pickin' time in Pennsylvania....Oh, I love this time of the year and I love smelling the smell of fall in the air. Clear crisp smells of fall in the woods. And the apples...

It is fall and apple picking time here in Pa. My favorites are the Northern spy. They are a tart crisp apple that does not cook up when you make a pie. I Have a bushel of them and a half bushel of Macintosh for eating. I love them. It has been cold and blustery this a.m. and I thought it was the perfect day for an apple pie and an apple crisp.
Apple Crisp
1 cup old fashioned oats
1 cup light brown sugar
1 stick butter
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup walnuts, chopped coarsely
8-10 apples, peeled and sliced
2 tablespoon lemon juice
2 tablespoon flour
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 tablespoon sugar
1 pinch nutmeg (optional)
Cut the butter into the oats and sugar with a pastry blender until there are pea-sized clumps. Blend in the cinnamon, salt and chopped nuts. Put the lemon juice in a large bowl and slice the apples into that bowl, tossing after each addition. Sprinkle on the sugar, flour, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg (if desired).
Toss well. Layer half the crumb mixture in the bottom of a buttered crockpot.
Press down lightly.
Add all the apples and then another layer of the crumb mixture. Cover and cook on high for 4 hours. Stick a spoon or piece of crumbled aluminum foil under the lid so that steam can escape during cooking. This will allow the top and bottom to "crisp." Serve with ice cream or whipped cream.