Living with diabetes....

When I was a young girl I would watch our neighbor lady who had what was commonly called 'sugar' by many in our area, give herself her daily insulin shots and go about eating all the sugary stuff she wanted, no matter how many warnings given to her by her dr, family, and friends. I don't think any of them knew how hard it is to stay away from something you crave until you have to do it.

My mother had diabetes and refused to listen. She nearly lost all her eyesight before deciding to try and curb her intake of sugar and starches. Many do not realize it but starches are a huge enemy of those whose body does not supply enough insulin.

I was in denial for several years. I was one that was not going to get diabetes. I went on living my life as though nothing like that could happen to me. By the time I went to the dr to find out why my feet were going to sleep, I already had the nueropathy that is caused by diabetes. My sugar was not extremely high like my moms whose sugar was over 600 when she fell ill. Mine was 268 but had been that way for some time and I just ignored it. Very foolishly but I won't spend my life beating myself up for it.

It is a lifelong process but I am learning to curb my intake of sugar and most starches by cooking with Splenda, making wiser choices when I buy drinks, cutting way back on doughnuts and such. I don't really need them but I do crave them and I am trying to work with ways to get around those cravings.

Exercise is a problem but I am trying to force myself to use the stationary bike since I cannot walk outside much for fear of falling in the winter. I fell three years ago and due to having brittle bones in my feet from the nueropathy, I nearly lost my left foot when I shattered my ankle. If I break it again, I may lose the foot. I love to swim but I cannot do that in the winter since the nearest public indoor pool is over 30 miles from here.

I feel i am luckier than my mom and others in the past. I have so many ways to fix good food now without using the sugar and other fattening things they used.

I also have the internet and an amazing number of other diabetics I can talk to about living this journey through the food maze of jellied doughnuts, cookies and candies that look so good and tempt us so much. Yes, I have it much better than they did and I am looking forward to living a long life in spite of this disease.

Snow, popcorn and movie...

I don't know why but I am tired today. So tired, all I want to do is yawn and curl up under the covers. I think it is just one of those days.

Everyone is home this weekend.

Last week bil called to say he had some old super 8 movies that his dad had taken years ago of hubby, me and the others in the family. We decided to have an old fashioned family movie weekend. About twenty of us got together for home made ice cream, pop corn, sloppy joes, homemade veggie soup and movies that we all laughed at for about two hours. Of course the kids all laughed at the styles of the seventies and thought our wedding movies were hilarious. There was a tear or two when some of our loved ones who are no longer with us came on the screen but we spent most of the time laughing.

All in all, it made a very dreary weekend, a weekend of fun.

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I have taken a break from the quilt I am making to work on this and read some blogs. The quilt is for my friend who has been diagnosed with MAYCOBACTERIUM AVIUM COMPLEX....BETTER KNOWN AS MAC DISEASE. Mycobacterium avium complex, or MAC, is a serious bacterial infection that HIV+ people can get. MAC is related to tuberculosis. MAC is also sometimes called MAI, which stands for Mycobacterium avium intracellulare.
MAC infection is usually found only in people with under 50 T4 cells. The symptoms of MAC can include weight loss, fevers, chills, night sweats, swollen glands, abdominal pains, diarrhea and overall weakness. MAC usually affects the intestines and inner organs first, causing liver tests to be high. Swelling and inflammation also occur.

She freaked when they first told her cause she thought she had aids but that is not what it is. I know when I saw her last, she looked horrible. She lost about 90 lbs and they could not figure out why she was losing weight and having all these other problems but they finally did with blood tests. The cure is no easy one. She has to take several pills a day and shots for several months too.

But she loves flowers and butterflies so this is the quilt I am doing....

Anna Nicole...

Anna nicole Smith died today. I suppose I should not really care abou this but this woman seemed to me to be a very sad, lonely soul who was reaching out for something that was just out of her grasp.

At one time anna was a lovely young woman who had so much going for her. She could have been just about anything she wante to be.

You know the old story about the 'y' in the road and how you can take the wrong one. I think she may have wanted to take the right one but just did not really know how.

I often wonder if she may have been mentally ill and not quite capable of handling the things in here life. When it began to spiral out of control, she did not know what to do or how to cope so she turned to drugs and other things that just made matters worse rather than helped her.

It saddens me to see her life wasted and lost. I feel empathy for her because I have a daughter who is mentally ill and when I would see anna and how she was, I think of my daughter and I fear for my daughter

Yet all I can do is hope my daughter finds a way to get out of the dark tunnel she is in before it is too late. It is too late for anna but I hope it is not too late for my daughter.
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Winter blah

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I have not been around for awhile. Like many others, I am trapped indoors for the winter and the only thing to talk about is the snow. I know I wanted snow. Well, now that I got it, they can stop any time now. But I have been visiting blogs and reading. I promise I will wite more later...