another day....

It is very early sunday morning and I cannot sleep so here I am. I got a call from my daughter about her tests and it was pre cancer but they got it all when they removed the the lumps and she does have to go to the doctor every six months to make sure she stay cancer free. That was a load off my mind.

Today was my mother in laws 79th birthday. She is fading, it seems to me. She just seems to have lost some of the zest she had for living and while she was here she kept crying and telling me how much she loved us all. She is such a wonderful woman and I love her dearly. When she goes, I am going to be miserable. Lately the family seems to be bonding together and trying to make amends for things that have happened in the past and I think much of this is because she so desperately wants people to get along and we are all trying to make things easier for her.

We got her a box of candy as she loves chocolate covered nuts and one of those wrap around blankets that you can wrap around you like a house coat.

We also had cake and ice cream for her.

Things to be thankful for this year..........

I have so much to be thankful for this year. I was worried about daughter but the news was better than we expected and she will be okay but will have to be monitored for any growths for the next few years because the growths are pre cancerous but once they are removed it is okay as long as she gets them in time. So some worries but not as bad as we thought they might be. A mixture of news I guess. It could have been so much worse. Thank God it wasn't.

I have to tell you I had a fantastic day yesterday. My eldest was not able to make it as her car broke down and they did get it up and running but it was pretty late and that was the only down side. But my bil and his family called to say they were just going to stop in and see his mom who was with us for the day said they were going to just stay a few minutes and I told them to bring their appetites and stay.

Now, a little bit of background here.........His brother and I always got along but his sister in law and he did not. She never really wanted to come here or do things here. Well, it seems as though she has decided to have a change of heart and they were here, along with my nephew and his SO. We ate, laughed and played cars til well into the night and we had a great time. She is proof that people can change. She really talked and told me some things I did not realize about her and what was going on in her life at the time and I think much of it just overwhelmed her and she lashed out at people.

I feel good today though and really feel blessed in so many ways.....

Not good news....

My daughter had to go in and have a biobsy done on her uterus. She found out she may human papilloma and if that is what her problem is she may have cancer of the cervix. I surely hope not. She has had such a rough life with all her demons haunting her with her mental illness and the things her biological parents did to her when she was young.

I read someone's blog where it asked when parents are going to stop worrying and I have to say it never stops and right now I am so worried over her and what could happen to her. I know that some of it could be caused by her past sexaual behavior but damn, why does it have to be her to even have to think about this kind of stuff now? She calls me crying about it and there is nothing I can do but listen. I try to be the kind of mother I should be with her but it is so hard at times.

Yesterday I found out my favorite cousin has cancer of the bowel and they don't know it they got it all and today I find out my daughther may have it in her cervix. We will just have to wait and pray that she does not have it.

Several things on my mind but.........

There are several things on my mind as this season of holiday day cheer and hunting are upon us. I am not going to rant about hunters as there are some in my family who hunt but they are lawbiding hunters who follow the rules and respect other peoples pets and properties, not like some we have running around these woods today.

First there are those who have no respect for property. They come on our property without asking and act like they own it. They want to tell me what they are going to do on my propertly no matter what I say. We do not allow atvs on our property to tear up the yard and fields or whatever but they bring on anyway. Then have the nerve to threaten my brother in law when he tells them he does not want them on his property (it borders ours and he watches out for some hunters and such). We do not believe in using atvs for hunting. Get yer ass out and walk if you want a deer, I say. We also do not want the fields and yard ripped up.

Then there are those who shoot wherever they want. We have had bullets whizzing by our house. I have to stay indoors because of some of the nuts running around here. Last year a woman was shot to death in her driveway by a hunter. My sister in law as well as we, have had to chase hunters out of our yard and tell them not to shoot at our homes. My niece and nephew were out playing one day when my sil saw two hunters standing at the edge of her yard, waitinf for deer to come out. They did not care that kids were playing in the yard. They wanted a deer. Twice she had to go out and shoo hunters away. Apparently they did not see all the 'no hunting posters plastered on every other tree out there.

I am tired of feeling like I live in a battlefield each year.

And how many dogs, cats and cows to we have to lose? I am not a farmer but our neighbors are and they lost a cow to turkey hunters who somehow shot his cow in spring gobbler season? Does that make sense to anyone who reads this? I had one dog shot and killed. Another was shot in the hind leg and costs us alot in vet bills plus he was lame in that leg for several years. Cats come up missing and I have heard so-called hunters brag about the cats they have killed because the cat was doing what cats do..........hunting rabbits. Why shoot the cats? They are doing what nature intended them to do. Go after the irresponsible owner who allowed the cat to run around outside, not the cat.

All I want is for hunters to treat us with some respect and not shoot at our homes, children or animals. Go out into the woods where you are away from homes.


As I posted, not all hunters are like this but too many are and it is making it look bad for the rest. Shame on you.

what kind of chocolate?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

one of those days....

I have a wonderful family. Trust me on this. It may not seem so at times as I come in here and vent about some of the things they but all in all I love them.....most of the time.Today was one of those days where nothing was going right. I was supposed to go out with a friend but she cancelled. She had to because of something that came up. Plus I am getting over the flue and feel yucky yet. Then there was the fact that my bank card was breing rejected because I forgot that I had not used it since our bank changed names and I had forgotten that I changed my password and when I went to do it again, I was told I had tried too many times and had to wait. I could not wait. I was in a hurry.Then there is my husband who chose today to razz me about everything that has been going on all day. I was not in the mood. No way.


Oh, and then there was my favorite dog who peed in his favorite corner of the kitchen. Yep. This is one of those days.......................

Organized religion vs faith....

I am not pushy with religion. I enjoy talking about it and conversing with people who are willing to exchange thoughts and ideas on it. I am a baptist and will always be won because I enjoy that faith and like the people who are part of the little church I belong to. Yes some of them are pushy and like to shove their religion on others instead of drawing people into a discussion, they like to thump them into submission but there are many there who are just warm wonderful people who live what they believe.

I have a foster sister who used to call me and begin her conversations, are you going to church? and when I said yes I was attending the methodist church, she would say, "oh, dee, you know methodist do not go to heaven." No I did not know that. No one has shown me a verse in the bible that says that. I, myself was not satisfied with the church I was attending so began attending the local baptist church and when she called, I heard, "oh, dee, you know baptist do not go to heaven. Why don't you find a church of God and go to it........." then she would precede to tell me the glories of attending the right church. Of course, I did not hear most of what she said. I learned to keep peace in the family by tuning her out years ago just as my late brother in law who was the lowly catholic in the family.

You know, when I hear people say who is going to heaven or hell I always think, won't these people be shocked when they get to heaven (IF they get there) to find out exactly who all is there. I am betting my foster sister will fall over in a dead faint when she sees there are just as many catholics up there as there are members of the protestant faith.

That is why when someone assumes another person did not go to heaven, I feel like saying, how do you know? Do you know what was in that persons heart? Only God knows that. And if someone shows me where it says what church I have to attend to get into heaven, I wish they would show it to me. I will find that church and go. Until then, I am going to do what I have been doing. Attending church when I can, reading my bible and praying.

Earlier in the post I mentioned a methodist church. Nothing against the church but I found that if I was not a part of the upper echeleon in the church, or did not dress with the best, or be a part of the right family in our town, I just did not fit in. They were a bunch of gossiping old biddies. Not all but far to many and it happens way to often in churches. I have seen some of it in our church but not as much, it seems and that is one of the negative things about many churches today.

While visiting a.c's blog I saw a pic of him and his granfather and I thought how wonderful it is to have that kind of memories of ones family. Sorry to say but my childhood memories are rather clouded the first 9 years of my life. I don't mean to have anyone throw a pity party for me as my foster mom who I went to live with when I was 9 was great. But no matter what she did, I still felt a sense of loss and like I did not belong to the family. Then I met my husband and when he introduced me to his mother, I met a woman who would remain my friend and mother for the rest of my life. I have known and admired her for over thirty years. She is fantastic. I also found a father in his dad who treated my like a daughter. When he was ill and dying, I was in the hospital along with his other kids spouses and the nurses were amazed that they could not tell which of ones were his children and which one were the in laws. He treated us all like his kids.

I am doing a memory quilt for his mother and I want to share some of the photoes I am putting in it.

The above pic is one of his parents, himself, and his dad holding his sister sara. The apartment they were living in at that time is the same one my husband and I lived in during the first few years of our marriage.

I wish the pic on the right was clearer but it is one taken on their wedding day in 1949. They were married for over forty years.

I will show some other pics later of the ones I am putting in the quilt. I know it is time consuming but I think she will like it. I have done calendars and other things for her with pics so I am pretty sure she will like this.

More money mom.........

daughter just called. I love her. I really do. I love both of them but this one wants money again. Money for some things she needs in her dorm room. She moved out of the one she was with cause her one room is into the occult and was freaking her out. She freaked me out when I met her but I just figuered she was our daughters friend so.........turns out she wasn't and kept attempting to bring a demon into the room cause she wanted demon lover. If you ask me, the girl really needed some help but I am not her mom and I am glad my daughter moved out of the room. I wish she did not have to spend my money when she moved though. *s*

I am so proud of her though. She is planning on becoming an art professor. She really does love what she is doing. I do not understand it as she does abstract art. I look at it and don't have a clue as to what is it but she just says, it is abstract. I just nod. I know she gets alot of letters and the professors like her work. I just smile most of the time and pretend I know what she is talking about.