My daughter has a habit of picking up guys and moving in with them. The first time she did it, it was with a guy she met on the net. She dated him twice and moved in with him, four months later, after one suicide attempt, and two times in the hospital from his beatings, we were able to get her out with nothing but the clothes on her back.
Last week she went out with a guy and made it to four dates before I got the call I was expecting saying she would only be home long enough to pick up her clothes. The only improvement is, this guy has a job and a car. This time it was a little longer. (4 dates). She is getting better at getting to know them before she moves in. By the time she is 40 she might date one long enough to get to know him before moving in. (this will not count all the one night stands)
Thank God she had her tubes cut and hopefully she wears a has him wear a condom.
The first time she did this, I got all bent out of shape and cried alot. Now, I am to the point, where, hey, she is 24. She is gonna do what she is gonna do and there is nothing I can do but be there to help pick up the peices when it all falls apart. She is my daughter and I will always love her, worry about her, and pray for her but I cannot stop her from doing the things she wants to do in life.
My youngest is ready to kick her ass and all she says is didn't she learn the first time? I think she just wants to be loved by someone so bad that she is willing to do about anything to get a guy and keep him. It is sad and such a worry but there is nothing I can do.
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About Me
- Dee
- I just enjoy life. Especially my family and all the little things life has to offer. I love reading and chatting with my online friends and quilting. I always have a project started. Sometimes I have two or three going.
4 comments:
When I was in my early 20s, I did want someone so badly and I made ALOT of bad choices. Thankfully, I never moved in with any of them, but I did already have my own place. If I were home with my parents, who knows, I may have. One day, I finally hit "my rock bottom" (we all have our own breaking points) and realized I needed help (I ignored others telling me I needed it, until I realized I needed it.)But through counseling, I was able to find my own self worth and lay down my rules to live by - what I would and would not accept in a relationship, and I learned all about "red flags". Some people think counseling is for 'crazys', but it really helped me SEE how the choices I was making was hurting me, and my family and what I could do to change it, if I wanted to. I held the key, I needed only to turn it in the lock. She holds a key too .... I'm so glad to hear you're standing by her, as I know my mom wanted to boot me good and hard and just walk away. She didn't, and I eventually got it right. A mother's love will go a long long way.
We have been in couseling with her for ten years. More than ten years. She does not seem to want help now. I pray the day comes when she does. She will not work but I am afraid that if she does want to move back in with us, we are going to tell only until she can find a place to move into. It is much better for all of us if we can find her a place to stay near where she goes to counseling. I hope she does not quit her counseling.
I hope she sticks to the counseling too. One of these days, her 'light bulb' will go on in her head, and all will click and fall into place. Keep faith, and a cup of sun to you.
They have already called and told me she is starting to cancel her visits. Only time will tell.
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