Was it the right decision?

Let me start this post by telling you my daughter is mentally ill. She was diagnosed with a by polar disorder when she was nine. She schizphrenic also. That did not crop up til about a year ago.

She came to me one day and told me she wanted to get her tubes cut. I told her that she should think about it and wait a few years. But I began to do some research and found out that once she got pregnant she would not be able to take any of her meds and I know what she is like if she just skips a few days. What in the world would she be like if she had to miss them for months at a time?

I know what is it like to listen to her talk to the people who are not there. I see her going thru all the animations like she really sees them. I know what it is like to have her tell her therapist that she wants us dead and has had made plans to kill my husband and I as well as a little boy who was living with us at the time. She says the voices tell her to do these things and that is why I am the one who makes sure she takes her meds every day. She is 23 and I still have to make sure she does it. She will not do it if left on her own. I know because she was on her own for awhile and tried to committ suicide more than once.

She is mentally only about 12 to 14 years old. She is the type that would not take care of baby.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I did not think she would be a good candidate for motherhood so I talked to her about getting her tubes cut. I did not force her or give her any ultimatums. I simply asked her if she still wanted to do it and kept my fingers crossed, hoping she would say yes. She agreed that it was the best thing for her to do.

She had it done two weeks ago. Now she is saying she feels it might not have been the right thing to do cause she is afraid that the man she falls in love with will want his own kids. I told her that if he loves her he would understand the reasons why she did it. I told her she could always be a favorite aunt to the kids her sister says she is going to have some day.

You see, my daughter has never really liked kids. When they are around she tends to shy away from them where her sister goes ga-ga over babies.

Was it the right thing? I think it was for her. If I were younger and could take care of any child she might have (she says she would have never given any up for adoption) I might feel I could help her out but my husband says he would not want to take on the responsiblity of helping her raise a child. And he is right. Although I know that if either of the girls got pregnant and needed our help he would be the first one to offer it.