In the pysche ward again........

I had a horrible dream last night. The first dream I have had in a long time. When I awoke early this morning, I knew something was not quite right about this day. I tried to remember what it was about but all I could remember is that it was dark and dreary and something very frightening about it.

I went over to get my eldest daughter up and she was yelling about stuff and I told her just to clean her room and get ready to to to her outing at a place called the grapevine. She goes there once a week. It is a place where people who are mentally ill can hang out and talk to others. She started yelling and calling me all kinds of nasty names for no reason. I knew it was a sign of what was to come. I tried to calm her down but she was not calming down. I got my husband and he tried to talk to her for awhile. It was not doing any good. She began yelling at him, telling him she wanted to die and she was going to cut her wrists or start cutting herself again. I called her therapist and he agreed to see her. I had already made plans to take her sister out to see the Star Wars Movie so My husband agreed to take her in to see her therapist.

She is in the hospital now trying to get herself straightenened out gain. It is so hard seeing her like this but, at the same time I am angry. At who or why, I don't really know. I am scared that some day she may really kill herself and we will not be around to stop her. We have prevented it so many times and each time I wonder about the next time. Will we be there? It scares me.